So many times in coaching and self development books, articles and websites, we read about feeling empowered to say ‘no’. In my coaching relationships I have often encouraged women to set strong boundaries which often means learning how to say no, especially to loved ones, firmly and with grace.
It’s something people often struggle with. Clearly, the ability to say no when you need to is important: no to a bad relationship, no to an extra project at work when you’re already over committed, no to an event you’d rather not attend, no to another piece of cake.
It’s true that the people pleasers amongst us (that’s the majority of the population in my experience!) really need to say no more often, for our sanity, health and self esteem. But that’s for another article.
However, what about Yes? What have you said ‘No’ to recently that you could have said ‘Yes’ to?
Because to me, saying no when you should (I know, I hate that word) say yes is just as bad. Saying no to new experiences. Saying no to things that scare you. saying no because saying yes seems too difficult.
Sometimes saying yes is all about stepping outside of our comfort zone. It involves doing something new, stepping up to the bar, challenging yourself and your beliefs about what you can and can’t do. Saying ‘yes’ to the new responsibility at work, saying ‘yes’ to the first time you’ve been asked on a date since your divorce, saying ‘yes’ to the friend who wants a running mate to do a 5k with.
What can you say ‘yes’ to today?