In a recent session with a coaching client, we were discussing a very difficult situation she had recently been immersed in. I was of course focusing a huge amount of energy on active listening during the session but what really broke through and made the difference for how this woman was feeling about what was going on in her life and ultimately about herself was when I paused her to reflect back in a truthful and heartfelt way, how amazingly she was handling herself, to acknowledged how tough that situation was for her and to feed back how brave and inspirational her response had been.
How often (coaching conversations aside) do we ever have anyone taking the time to lift us up like this? To really SEE us and to acknowledge both the struggle and the bravery that we are sometimes going through? And how often do we ourselves take the time to offer heartfelt feedback and acknowledgment of someone else’s bravery, efforts and accomplishments? This is not paying compliments. This is real and true acknowledgement and empowerment right at the point that someone needs it the most – and it is nothing short of magic.
Perhaps above being really and truly listened to, what my coaching clients appreciate the most and frankly what precipitates growth, change and action in them, is when I demonstrate that I see them, I appreciate them and I honour them as they go through whatever it is they are going through.
I love this quote and I firmly believe it is true – we rise by lifting others and we owe it to other women to step up and do this. And we owe it to ourselves.
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