In my thinking and talking about how women can deal with their inner critics, one idea that comes up is that of fighting fire with fire. Basically criticising or being mean back to the inner critic.
At first thought this makes sense of course. Why not? Tell her to get lost. Turn the tables and tell her that SHE’S the stupid/ unpopular/ weak/ annoying one. Tell her to go to HELL. Mock her even.
There are two reasons why trying to outwit your inner critic in this way won’t work;
1. It’s escalates it. Like with squabbling children, sending back counter statements and insults, trying to think of better, wittier retorts might feel good in the moment but almost inevitably results in more of the same. Neither party is willing to give in. Your inner critic certainly isn’t.
2. Your inner critic is a part of you. A scared and vulnerable part. Does being mean to a scared and vulnerable part of you sound kind? Right? Effective?
Just like other people, you are worthy of love and kindness. ALL of you. So the trick is to find ways of calming and quietening your critic with resorting to these tactics.
How do you deal with your inner critic? I’d love to know.
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